THE CHOREOGRAPHY OF CARE

All bodies tell a story.

The airy studio is stark, the walls painted white and curved at the base.  An illusion of endlessness. Near infinite disappearance but for the dulled gleam of the chilly, white vinyl flooring, frequently manipulated by light beams and bodies.  Sometimes the space is ice cold, but my heart always finds warmth here.  It is a place of witness and I am heard.

“That’s interesting”, my friend comments from across the room, pausing to watch with curiosity. Me, in a suit of periwinkle, cotton-poly blend scrubs that seem to be ill-fitting no matter the wearer.  Kneeling between a rope and crimson red fabric suspended from an I-beam of structural steel. The fabric pools to my one side like blood, the rope to my other as bare as bone. Scattered around me are a mask, face shield, gloves, hand sanitizer and an isolation gown.  My armour.

Most people have never witnessed another human being die, nor felt the desperation that comes when trying to save someone’s life and failing.  A sorry that will never be heard by the one lost. Every life lost forever remains embedded in memory, from the tips of the hairs on the skin to the innermost walls of the remaining beating hearts. The body encodes these events as a multi-sensory experience that can intrude waking life at inopportune times.

The COVID-19 pandemic has been a crash course for many of us in loss.  We all experienced loss,  both individually and collectively.  Someone, something, tangibles and intangibles - family, friends, connection, control, “freedom”, privilege, a previous reality, a previous identity.

As society crawls its way back to its feet, the reality in healthcare is that the effects of the pandemic will continue long after the rest of the world moves on.  A system so frazzled and frayed by the unrelenting onslaught of death and distress and we are all just so exhausted.  (When I speak of healthcare colleagues, I am referring to every person who works as part of the team, administratively and on the ground.  Each person is essential to this massive and complex operation.)  To say that it’s been a very challenging time in healthcare is an understatement, so I wanted to offer a way for my colleagues to be seen, feel seen.  To acknowledge their pain and perhaps provide a means to start grieving our many losses.  At the same time,  I also wanted to capture the powerful community that exists, without which many of us would have crumbled long ago.  I hoped to reframe the seemingly mundane and repetitive as beautiful, as a means to renew our sense of purpose and power during a time when our work seems ever-waxing while our energy waning.  As I witnessed and supported friends and colleagues in despair, fear and exhaustion,  I wanted to give them something that would transform their experience into a moment of beauty.  Transformation through art.

This film was charged with emotion from the start. Inspiration borne of the suffering of three dancers’ experiences of the interrupted body: The first, an internal dissonance of polarized identities within myself as a physician and dancer. One identity deemed valid, the other repeatedly nullified. Time and attention would allow these discordant existences to gradually harmonize, both practices equally informing the other in reconciled legitimacy. The second, a dance artist living with cancer,Ruth Douthwright, who transformed her experience of chemotherapy by creating a soundscape of “found sound” with other cancer patients. By making art in the midst of their suffering, using material that was representative of their suffering, it allowed them to process and be relieved of their suffering. The third, a dancer who is a survivor of cancer, Christy Stoeten. While a cancer patient undergoing treatment, Christy watched healthcare workers with fascination in their routine movements of draping, chemotherapy, and intentional body placement in the radiation machine. These movements seemed so choreographed: So planned and repeated until embodied with ease. Though this practice of witnessing may have been a coping mechanism to distance herself from the intensity of the treatment process, Christy’s cancer experience consolidated the idea of a dance film about healthcare workers. From here “The Choreography of Care” found firm rooting.

The Choreography of Care openly invited all staff members at Unity Health Toronto to participate. During this time where many working in healthcare are feeling demoralized, forgotten and underappreciated, this project offered an opportunity for them to be acknowledged, their work honoured in a different light. The hope was that this creative process would provide a means to foster community connection across all three sites, generating a collaborative spirit and giving a novel sense of purpose. The Choreography of Care challenged participants to think about their work in new ways, as they learned choreography derived from seemingly mundane work-related movements and collaborated as a team towards a creative goal. The soundtrack for the film was generated using “found” sound in the work environment: Sounds heard everyday as healthcare is delivered. These distinctive sounds were seamlessly blended into a haunting soundtrack by Danielle Goudge, a nurse educator and musician. The sharp eye and skilled visual design of film director and editor, Sonia Gemmiti, wove the diverse images into a provocative moving narrative. The completed dance film is a homage to the dedicated perseverance of all those who work in healthcare and a time capsule that documents what this means in 2021 and beyond. The completed dance film is a homage to the dedicated perseverance of all those who work in healthcare and a time capsule that documents what this means in 2021 and beyond. 

The creation of The Choreography of Care bobbed afloat waves of emotion from inception to completion, flowing over both the core creative team and all the staff members who participated. What the film captured is the delicately layered complexity of what it means to provide care within institutions. The witnessing of this work has allowed held tears to flow, tears that have been suppressed within a culture of stoicism, self-sacrifice, and loyalty, within “efficiency-based” systems that demand pushing beyond human tissue tolerance. Systems that deny basic human needs, that value the dollar over human health. Systems that ironically siphon life support from the lives of the providers. Inversely, The Choreography of Care highlights the power of community: Collective supporting and being supported, many hands holding one another up as we move together in this ever-changing experience of life. 

Creative Team:
Concept by: Christy Stoeten | Sarah Kim, MD
Director/Editor…Sonia Gemmiti
Producer… Sarah Kim, MD | Christy Stoeten
Director of Photography…Katie Cooper
Composer… Danielle Goudge, RN
Choreography… Christy Stoeten | Sarah Kim, MD
1st Assistant Camera…Yuri Markarov
Colourist...Matthew Barnett
Sound Engineer...Mark Rozeluk